Alternate title: Things I Keep Doing That I Know I Shouldn’t (And If You Catch Me Doing Them, Slap Me)
(Yeah, I have a few thoughts on FOWA I want to get down, but a thousand things to do as well; this was written late at night while dahn Souf, so it’s not like it’s effort to post. Right?)
1. It’s all me, me, me.
I know I’m the most important person in the world, but I should really take time out of my busy schedule to ask *you* questions. When you ask me ‘So, what do you do?’ I should reply with something brief, yet informative, and fire the same question back at you. Not only will it help establish myself as a good listener, it’ll help me centre my self-description around what you do and know.
2. When Harry Met Sally (Via Roger)
Not so much an in-person intro, this, but something I’ve been caught up with a couple of times lately. When you refer someone you know to someone else, don’t send them to each other – introduce them. “Hey Bob, how’s it going? Thought you might like to meet Alice.” Not “this is Alice’s email address, say I sent you”. The latter is appropriate in *some* contexts, but not in email and not in person.
3. Let’s get physical
I’m usually carrying a bag. This means if I have to carry a coat as well, or a second bag, or a small child, I’m not going to have a hand easily free without overbalancing and looking even more clumsy than I already am. The alternative is to look really impolite and not shake someone’s hand. I’m not Arrington. Ditch the coat (even if it does act as mobile pockets) and go around empty-handed, girl. Secondly, even though it might be a geek event, stop staring into the distance when talking to someone. You just give the impression something else is far more interesting than they are.
4. Card time
I partly blame this on the aforementioned pockets and bags and things, but it’s not a great excuse. I need to swap cards more. I’m getting pretty good at managing other people’s cards, and remembering why I took them in the first place, but if I don’t give people mine, they’re not going to contact me.
5. Keep in touch
Again something which came up recently; just because *you* think you’re waiting for the other person to call or email, doesn’t mean they think the holdup’s their end. If you haven’t heard from someone in a while, it’s not nagging to drop them a friendly line asking to touch base. It’s much better than finding out months down the line that they thought you were uncontactable and aloof because you were being too polite to nag them about replying to an email.
6. Stop apologising
Sorry.
7. Use small talk wisely
I recently read on the Internets that making only small talk at a networking event makes you seem like an amateur. It’s not so bad if you’re at an event with unpracticed techies, not smarmy businessspeople, but still; if your entire conversation with someone is about the quality of the soap in the toilets, or the length of the queue you’re in, what point was there for you to talk in the first place? (Unless you’re building up to working a room, of course.)
8. Don’t be afraid to say something
Man, it’s scary being at tech events. People either side of you in a queue, or sitting in a hall, won’t even look at you. It’s as if you’re totally invisible. Don’t let this faze you. Even if you say hi and ask them how the wifi’s holding up, the worst that happens is they totally ignore you. Which they were kinda doing already.
9. Chat with people on stands, but get out quickly
Having worked trade show booths and stands, it can be nice to get people talking – if the area isn’t busy, even if they’re on a tangent, it’s more likely to get other people coming up to you as you appear interesting. Talking to people at stands doesn’t always mean you have to stand there rigid under the influence of a megaton sales pitch. Make it clear you’re there for the free stuff and you don’t think your interests overlap; make it a challenge to find out if they do, or to find out enough about them that you could introduce a contact to them. You keep their lives less dull and gain an ally for future use. A lot of the same people work the same booths at multiple conferences, of course! However, don’t spend ten minutes nodding sagely at a pointless sales pitch. Know when enough is enough, and get the hell out.
10. Make yourself visible – if you want to be
Ask questions in sessions. Talk to the speakers afterwards, Hell, talk to the people who asked questions. Try to remember names and faces and come up to them the next day with something from the previous one. Be active on twitter – interact with others. Ask someone you already know to introduce you to someone interesting. Introduce someone you already know to someone interesting. Buy someone lunch. Get bought lunch. Hang around an attraction and make yourself seem approachable. Stop standing in the corner staring at your feet and getting a headache from writing introspective blog posts about how antisocial you are. Just get out there and be social.
Jennie is currently trying to invent a cloning machine and/or time travel device. If it can do networking too, she thinks she’s on to a winner. She’s also looking for a new blog theme, if you know a good ‘un…